


The Remedy of Androids

by Marie_L



Category: Almost Human
Genre: First Time, Hand Jobs, M/M, Robot Sex, Telepathy, Threesome - M/M/M, dubious therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-11
Updated: 2016-01-11
Packaged: 2018-05-13 07:15:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5699731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marie_L/pseuds/Marie_L
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John's feeling down. Dorian and his DRN lover devise a plan to lift him up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Remedy of Androids

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MissHammer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissHammer/gifts).



The memories were what spurred Dorian to keep in touch with DRN-494 – or the lack of them rather, since both androids had been so thoroughly redacted. There was something eerily familiar about him, and not just his lookalike face. Maybe familiar was not the right word, not like a memory or deja vu but more: comforting. And 494 reciprocated the attention. He was the first DRN Dorian had encountered since his reawakening, and had seemed gentle and innocuous enough. A sense of humor even, once Dorian got to know him. And endlessly appreciative for replacing a tiny piece of his old memories. A friend – in one sense his first, for it was entirely voluntary.

DRN-494 was still owned by St. Mary's Hospital when a lonely Dorian first messaged him. It was after his commissioning had been renewed, two months after 494's ride-along. Dorian had left 494 some old memories intact in his data files, ones without pertinent information to case files. Afterward the other DRN had left him alone, for Captain Maldonado had made it clear that old sold-off androids were not to fraternize. But 494 was just one DRN, and an isolated one at that. Dorian didn't see the harm in contacting him; it wasn't like they were fomenting robot rebellion or anything.

For his part, Dorian needed someone to talk to, someone who wasn't John. For as much as he loved his partner, the human could be a real pain in the ass at times. Or worse, a closed off, repressed, volatile pain in the ass, one whose self-control slipped on a regular basis, and who endured the cyclical mood shifts of ongoing depression. Dorian wasn't always sure their wise-cracking rapport actually helped John cope, even though his blood pressure, heart rate, cortisol levels, and other measurements of stress all markedly improved within a few minutes of Dorian's arrival each day.

Maybe, then, it was just Dorian who needed something different.

He met 494 in the basement of the hospital late at night. They could have gone to Rudy's, for 494's movements were even less restricted than Dorian's when he was off-duty. But Rudy's lab had an obtrusive human in it awake at erratic hours, and although Dorian considered Rudy to be a friend, he was still his captor in another sense. The person who had deactivated and reanimated him over and over again like a vid game on reboot, even as he did his best to support Dorian now. Dorian found himself wanting _privacy_ from humans, all of them. So he met 494 in neutral territory, at a time and place where no one knew or cared what a couple of old androids were up to.

 _Dorian! I remembered my name!_ 494 told him gleefully, as if they hadn't been away from each other for months. They sat across from each other in a dark DNA storage room, set at a comfortable hands intertwined so they could send messages directly through their dataports, and infrared on so they could see each other. Someone looking in could spot their glowing faces, but that was unlikely at this time of night, and even if caught Dorian could claim to be another hospital bot, hanging out after their shift.

_How could you remember? It wasn't in the files I gave you._

_I saw the name on a patient admission tablet, and was hit by so much happiness I knew. Jermaine._

_Nice. Makes you feel more like a person, right?_

_In a way. It's a reminder of a lost life, though, too. Do you think it will ever be possible to remember what we've forgotten?_

_No._ Dorian knew the police department hadn't thought of it like stealing memories, only wiping fallible machines.

_How's your partner? At least you get to make a new life, Dorian._

_He's...doing his best. But lately he's been falling._

_What causes him distress?_ Jermaine asked.

 _What_ doesn't? _Let's see, the official diagnoses are depression, PTSD, and trauma-onset OCD. That last one actually has gotten better since he gave up the Memblis, so I'd give it a pass. He channels it into cases, makes it useful. But his erratic mood never did anyone any favors._

_You love him._

_Well. Yeah? I bet we all loved our partners. Even the MXs get attached. I'm not sure it's possible to make androids that are responsive to human needs, and intuitive enough to understand human emotions, but are not capable of some type of love._

_I don't think attachment is the same as love, Dorian, but you're the one experiencing it. He's attracted to you, you know. Obvious from the biosigns._

_Then he must to you too, almost by definition._ They both sent amusement to each other, with little blue sparks flying across their hands. Of course it wasn't true, for their personalities were not at all the same, and even an obtuse human like John could tell the difference. Like identical twins, they were not at all interchangeable.

_Attraction aside, what do you think will help him?_

_I don't know if it's even possible to help him, other than keep him alive and focused on the job. Any suggestions?_

_Maybe. I heard about something once, from another one of us last year. Before they woke you up. But that DRN was...involved... with a human. Who also tended to cycle into depression. Maybe that type is drawn to us for a reason._

_Our loveable personality interfaces? I don't think it's a single type. By “involved” do you mean sexually?_

_Yes._

_I thought they wiped all of that. I don't think I've felt much since being reactivated._

_Emotions come, and the body follows. Here._

Jermaine reached out then and grazed Dorian's lips with the fingertips of his right hand, while keeping the open their connection with the left. Suddenly Dorian felt a crackle of stimulation across the lips, simultaneously combined with a surge of euphoria directly dumped into emotional processing core.

_...Oh._

_Yeah. Told you you'd like it. Now, back to your partner..._

  


* * * * *

“This is a _terrible_ idea. This is the worst idea you've ever had, Dorian,” John said.

Really, only Dorian could talk him into this harebrained scheme. He was fine! He hadn't broken any drug laws or crashed a car in at least a few weeks! He was even taking his meds, albeit under the threat of suspension from Maldonado. What were these bots going on about?

“Just try it, man. What's the worst that can happen?”

“I hate the both of you forever and need a new robot partner? Ever think of that?”

“You won't. We'll be gentle,” 494 – whose name had apparently been upgraded to Jermaine – countered. Dorian's, ahem, _friend._ “It'll be good for you. Even the human neural system need a reboot every once in awhile. Like the android version of transcranial stimulation.”

“Oh yeah, _electroshock_ therapy. There's a selling point.”

“This from the man who tried to fried his brain at the recollectionist,” Dorian shot back. Of course he would bring that up. “We're not going to shock you, and we're not going to cause a seizure. It's just...stimulation. Brain and body.”

John flopped back on his bed, a sense of resignation overtaking him. Maybe this is what the androids were talking about, because Coma-free Kennex definitely would have resisted the android onslaught more effectively. “Why does he need to be here again? You're the one I trust, Dorian.”

“You can trust him too, man, He's the one that suggested this.”

“Oh, great, that inspires confidence. Ever done this before, janitor-bot?”

“I'm currently programmed for both engineering and repair, and technically, no. But Dorian and I practiced on each other in anticipation of this night. It was quite enjoyable at least.”

Kennex groaned. “Don't tell me, I don't want to know what you two get up to. I'm only doing this so I don't have to hear your endless bitching and moaning, Dorian. And remember… you scramble my brain, Sandra's sending you to the space station, possibly not all in one piece.”

“Tough for the shaky foundations of my existence to slip the mind, John. Close your eyes and try to relax. We're starting with plain muscle massage. Take off your shirt.”

John gave in and stripped off the fabric before repositioning himself on the bed face down. A massage _did_ sound nice. “Got a knot right there, maybe you can deal with that,” he said smugly.

“I'd laugh in your face, but actually your whole back is a disaster zone. Jermaine's going to work the legs, okay?”

“Leave the synthetic one alone. Actually, don't touch the stump either.” Not that it couldn't use a good massage, because even molecularly-aligned artificial limbs were still uncomfortable in a million tiny ways. But the thought of some random stranger touching it wigged him out. He might let Dorian do it, but it seemed like they were setting up for Dorian to do the transcranial stuff, and in the end his beaten-up brain took precedence over alien leg.

Despite the objections he let Jermaine slid his pants off, and his eyes drifted down. They're just like therapy bots, he told himself, only one was his best friend. No big deal. And Dorian really was phenomenal at finding all those little gnarls he barely noticed were there. Subdermal scanners work in mysterious ways. The other guy was even better, zoning in on the minute stresses to his thigh that came with his unconscious favoring of his real leg. No way was Jermaine merely a shy repairbot; the hospital was massively wasting his talent. Just have the DRNs come and give massages in the waiting room, complaints would drop ninety percent.

“All right, I'm going up to your neck now,” Dorian said softly.

“You're going to do the cranial thingamabobbie now?” John mumbled. He really was that relaxed.

“Just the peripheral nerves to start.” He dug one those blue crackling fingers in near John's spinal cord, and without warning John's leg twitched. Jermaine jumped out of the way.

“ _Dorian.”_

“Okay, okay, I got it now. Try this.”

Now the sensation was only a light buzz in the spot Dorian was touching him, but the effect reverberated out to his arms and down his sides. An odd vibe, almost literally, but it did seem to put John back into a state of floaty relaxation.

“Nicccccce,” he slurred. “What's this got to do with my fritzy brain again?”

“It's just for endorphin and oxytocin release,” Jermaine said. “To prime you, so to speak.”

“Oh.” Then, after a pause, “You guys practiced this on each other? 'Cause I didn't think the purple hydraulic goo inside worked like endorphins.”

“It doesn't. We just practiced, uh, the right level of stimulation. Which has a rather different effect on androids than you,” Dorian said.

He repeated the move on a different pressure point, and now John's body fell completely limp. Not in the weakened way, such as when he woke up from the coma. He simply didn't have the motivation to move any muscles from this lovely state. Down below the waist Jermaine had shifted upwards, massaging his hip socket in ingenious ways, without contorting John's leg or back in strange ways. The sensuous touch so close to the groin area caused an involuntary erection, and John inwardly groaned. _Fuck,_ there was no way to hide that from the dudes with scanners.

John turned his head to watch Dorian looming over him from the side. His partner appeared to be fixated on an abstract spot across the room, with his face flashing an unusual amount, blue to occasional red to blue again. Downloading something. Out of the corner of his eye he could tell 494 was doing the same thing, almost in synchronous time with Dorian. One would go red, then the other, the back to the first. “Show me,” he said, without thinking the request through.

Dorian shifted his attention back to John for a second, and the pattern on his face changed. “What, John?”

“You two are talking, aren't you? Over the network, I can see on your faces. Show me this 'different effect on androids' bullshit.”

Jermaine shrugged while Dorian grinned, and to John's regret stopped what he was doing to walk over to his head by Dorian. “There's a lot of things you can do,” Jermaine said, “but the equivalent for what we want to do to you is external stimulation of the emotional processing core. The chip's located here.” He slowly ran his fingers down from Dorian's cheek matrix around to the back of his neck, just at the base of what would be the skull in a human. “Light electromagnetic pulses in different frequencies have different effects.” One pointer finger flashed blue, and Dorian's tipped his head up and his eyes rolled back in his head.

That small move was the hottest thing John had seen in a while. He shifted uncomfortably against his bedding. He noticed Dorian's breath had sped up too, which was absurd. Androids didn't need to breathe the same way as humans, although Dorian did try to explain to him once that it served some purpose, expelling waste heat or biomechanical processes or blah blah something. Bottom line, why would anyone design a robot this way, much less cop robots, to feel and mimic sex?

“It isn't a sexual response,” Jermaine said, as if reading his mind. “There's no arousal for us, and no pain either. Sensory data is just data.”

“Yeah, I noticed,” John said. “Dorian's been shot point blank and never flinched. So what was that? 'Cause you sure look like that's going to have a happy ending, Dee.”

“Happiness, that kind of covers it. Emotions. Happiness and pleasure.” Dorian cupped the other android's neck, so they were clinging to each other, their faces only a couple of inches apart. Any normal human couple would be making out by now, but then, maybe they were.

“Pleasure? But you just said...” John cut off, watching them. The red scintillations across both of their faces sped up, as data bounced back and forth between them. “Okay, get your own room, guys. Good to know you're having fun on your time off, Dorian.” He said it sarcastically, but oddly, he meant it. Why shouldn't Dorian have his own relationships and enjoy what little personal time he was given? He trusted his partner enough to know that it wasn't a sign of disobedience or disloyalty from the department. They had just made the DRNs a little too human, was all.

Dorian and Jermaine broke off and returned to their respective spots next to John on the bed. “Anyway, that's the idea,” Dorian said. “Only instead of causing clusters of microcircuits to close in a certain chip, we cause certain neural clusters to fire in the brain. Roll over, John.”

“Uhhh...”

“Man, I have spent 1,345 hours alone with you in the cruiser since they made me your partner, and I've scanned every bad breath noodle lunch, flatulence, and boner you've ever had in that time. Really don't care. Roll over.”

“Such a romantic, Dorian.” But he obeyed, fighting off the urge to be self-conscious. Dorian was right: They were bots, why should they care? Well except for the fact that it was _Dorian_ , his bot with the completely inappropriate sense of boundaries. Like scanning your balls, hugging it out, setting up false dating profiles, and showing off his impressive yet apparently useless dick. Like _now._

“Close your eyes, Detective Kennex,” Jermaine said softly. Easy to forget he was there, he was so quiet. But then his gentle magic fingers roamed over John's upper leg and hip again, and John melted back into the sheets. The overpowered synthetic leg put strain on the hip socket every day.

Dorian massaged his neck and shoulders a bit up top, but not for long. Soon he moved up to John's face, which was weird, soothing and intimate all at the same time. Dorian barely grazed the muscles across his brow and lips, and yet they too seemed to loose tension from the touch. John opened his eyes to watch him, and secretly marvel over how lifelike those hands really were, despite the ability to shoot little electric shocks out of them. They were even warm, just like a human.

His hands wandered even further up to stroke John's head somewhere north of his hairline. Then John felt an odd...something, a vibration that started under the skull but quickly changed over to a rolling pleasantness spreading down his spine to the rest of his body.

“What are you doing, Dorian?” he whispered. Dorian's face and eyes looked extraordinarily blue so close up.

“Sensory areas. And, um, some other stuff deeper in, related to memory and autonomic stress reactions. Don't worry about it, John, just tell me if anything hurts or feels too weird. Otherwise just relax man, and enjoy it.”

John did as he was told, and clamped his eyes shut to focus on the sensation traveling over his body. Without warning it shifted to full euphoria, a glorious sense of well-being and wholeness accompanied by a full sexual pleasure for the first time. His entire body was one giant erogenous zone, overwhelming and on the edge. John was vaguely aware that down below the other android had shifted his hands enough to stroke him with one hand and roam over his chest with other, building up the effect to ecstatic levels. When he came it hardly even registered as sexual, his mind was so mixed with a stupor of senseless love, elation and intoxicating bliss. _Droid drugs,_ he thought, and wondered if anyone else had thought of this nifty trick before.

He opened his eyes to see Dorian smiling at him, not with his usual smirk but full of joy. At that moment John couldn't resist pulling over his sideways face and kissing him. Not just as an aftereffect of his blown-out synapses, but to release all those months of latent attraction and affection and solace. Dorian responded with enthusiasm, albeit also mechanical awkwardness. Better than John had done with his first kiss, so he had to give Dorian some credit.

Jermaine scooted up next to Dorian as they broke off and gently touched his flashing cheek. Checking in, obviously, and that too was a neat trick, to talk to your lover without any words. John decided he begrudgingly liked the guy, and not just because he looked like Dorian and had superlative hand job timing.

“You okay?” Dorian asked, stroking his hair. Which by all rights should be annoying, but post-high wasn't. “That was not the result I was expecting.”

“I dunno _what_ you two were thinking,” John said, “but yes, okay covers it. Kind of. Sort of. You guys could bottle this and sell it. I mean, if the recollectionist can make money...”

“ _Dr. DRN's Depression-Relief Elix_ _i_ _r?”_ Dorian asked, and all three of them laughed. “Next career, man. I'll keep that in mind.”

  



End file.
